Novel Chapter 1

I used to think poorly about being used like a tool, but then I saw the beauty that being used comes with: it Gives purpose, lowering myself to the level of a tool might sound denigrating, but I think that for now, its suits me perfectly… then again, I used to think a lot of different things.

I’ve never thought much of myself throughout the span of my life, so in a way comparing myself to a tool could be seen as a good thing, you see, a tool exists for a job, a very defined job, one might try to use it for something else, with a varying degree of effectiveness, however, it has one true use, I don’t think I have that, or at least not any more, not since she left.

But things weren’t like this all the time, they couldn’t have been like this all the time, that is one of the things that keeps my alive, keeps me hoping, to one day find those memories of a better past and maybe with them finally get out of here, out of this, this place if you can call it that. You might be wondering who am I, and just where I might exactly be, well let me tell you something, that makes two of us.

As I let out a deep sigh I begging to question my own sanity, talking to a rock does seem a bit odd, but then again there is no one around here, not living nor dead.

I have no idea how long I’ve been here but I can however, seem to be able to recall how I got here, or at least I’d like to think I know, otherwise the only memory I have would be pointless.

All I can remember is staring at my cell phone, seconds turned to minutes, and minutes turned to hours, while depressing music played on my computers speaker’s. the familiar feeling of waiting for something that may never occur, and as such, it didn’t, I had been waiting for a call, but not just any call, it was the type of call, that can bring white to an otherwise obscure room, the type of call that can put a smile even on the saddest face.
I was waiting for the call of the woman I loved, waiting to hear her soft sweet voice.
Every minute I spent waiting I felt an unknown force push up against my chest, and every passing minute I felt my dreams and illusions fall down like wooden houses in a storm.

As I laid in bed hypnotized by the glowing screen I heart felted clenched in my hand, an unfamiliar sound came from outside, as I lazily rolled my eyes over to the lonesome window, something caught the attention of my eyes, sitting atop a branch in one of the trees outside, was a small swallow staring at me, I did not think much of it at first, but at second thought something seemed strangely odd.

Why would a small bird be perched on a tree in a foggy night? A night I would consider calling lonesome and unforgiving, but there it was, silent and still, watching me observing my every move, its eyes fixated on me. Somehow I felt a mixture of happiness and sadness while I looked into its eyes I could feel a familiar warmth embrace me, but just as quickly I felt a long black hole tear at my core, I could feel loneliness I could feel despair and sadness. Even more so than all of these feelings, I also felt a strong need to see it up close, as if it was somehow calling me from outside, as if it needed my company. I put on my coziest jacket and I headed outside my apartment towards the mysterious bird, at first I had feared it would be gone by the time I got there, deep inside I knew it would be waiting, I somehow knew I was destined to meet it.

As I made my way outside my apartment building I was hit by the coldest draft I had ever felt, it was like feeling a cold slap on the face, numbing out all senses and leaving you with utter awe. As I inched closer to the tree with the little bird all I could do was think of her, her flowing red hair her silky white skin, her small tender lips, just remembering the sound of her voice could make me drop to my knees. Before I could keep remembering her, a soft long chirp interrupted my thoughts; I had made it to the tree, without even noticing it.

As I stood near the tree, the swallow began singing in a soft mellow chirp, which little by little got louder and slower, it was a sad song, one that could be described as melancholic and tragic, it was as if it was singing just for me, just for my soul.